Wednesday, April 22, 2009

bhOndOO celebrates Valentine's day

bhOndOO entered the premises of Advanced Computing Ltd
and headed straight for his cubicle in the Performance
Analysis section. Today he walked rather fast and never
looked anywhere else, especially towards Shami's cubicle
in the HR section. Today was the Valentine's day and he
had a right to be nervous. He wanted to tell Shami what
she meant for him but like any geek, he could never
muster courage.

He sat on the chair in his cubicle and switched on his
PC. Like any geek, he should have opened his mailbox
first. But today even his Team-Lead's mails didn't mean
anything to him, and the usual technical support forum mails
never meant anything to him. He just fiddled with mouse,
adjusted the speakers, again fiddled with mouse and
then switched off the PC.

He thought and thought and thought. Nothing !,
nothing came to his mind. He was numb, dumb and slow.
It was as if 64 bit processor was replaced with 8 bit
8085 processor.

"hey bhOndOO, are you there? Good morning",he heard
Gullu's voice. He got up and looked over the wall of
his cubicle. Gullu was waving with a gift wrapped
in pink paper in his hands. He never wishes me good
morning, bhOndOO thought and all of a sudden, 8 bit
processor worked magic to give him the answer.
Gullu had waved at him only to show the gift to
him, definitely meant for Shami.

This is it. bhOndOO decided to go to his closest
friend, philosopher and guru. He went straight to
benJi's cubicle. Hearing the footsteps, benJi closed
few windows with lightening speed. He wanted to retain
his spiritually superior status.

"Guruji, mujhe bachao! Yeh shishya aapke sharan me aaya hai!"
"Vats bhOndOO, daro mat, apne man ki baat saaf-saaf kaho."
bhOndOO told benJi his troubles.

"Ok, child, I got your problems. The root of problem
is your high G.Q. i.e. Geekiness Quotient. And this
cant be done away with because one is born with G.Q.,
woh toh bhagwaan ki den hoti hai. Because of high
G.Q., you can neither give her rose, nor gift her
some smart greeting, nor ask her for a coffee which
could have been indicative. In fact you cannot even hope
to talk to her on your own on Valentine's day. This is
all fault of high G.Q."

"Then what should I do, soothsayer? Please show me the light".

"Yes, there is a solution. You must write a poem for
her and post it anonymous. Post it before the noon.
If you have it in your destiny, she will know that
you have written it. Remember NOT to mention your
name. It can make the girl coming to your cubicle
and the geeks won't be able to handle the pressure
of further consequences on Valentine's day. Put the
letter in the incoming letter box of office so that
it quickly gets delivered to her. One more thing,
nobody should see you near the letter box. Don't ask
me why. Reason is limited, faith is not. Keep faith
in me. May the almighty bless you!".

bhOndOO bowed to benJi and walked to his cubicle.

He thought and thought and thought. Things started
working for him. With a flash of inspiration he
wrote few lines and drew a heart around it. Then
he carefully put it in an envelope and wrote
"Shami, HR Section, ACL" as address. He looked
at the watch. It showed 11:59 a.m. Only one minute
for noon ! He ran towards the office letter box.
It was three passages away. He quickly passed
first two passages and..

Wham Bam ! He had failed to notice that the floor
of the third passage was wet because of being
mopped few moments ago by the sweeper. He started
searching his spectacles. It was below the couch
but now it had only right glass. He put on
spectacles and looked at the watch. It showed
12:01 a.m.. Listless, he started searching for
the envelope which he never found.

Somebody else found it.

It had flew around the corner of the third passage
and came to rest in second passage outside the
meeting hall. Shami, having just slept through
the meeting, came out of the hall and saw a letter
lying on the ground and a glass beside it. Gem
of a soul, she picked the glass and the letter
herself instead of calling the office attendant.
To her surprise, she found that the letter was
addressed to her. It had a heart drawn with
following lines in it:
Your beauty is like Einstein's relativity
Even the sun-rays bend towards you while passing by

Your innocence is like Ramanujan's conjecture
the truth of which the world can only hope to guess

Your smile is like Boltzmann's entropy
the radiance of which never ever decreases

Your presence is like Godel's incompleteness theorem
without which I can never hope to be complete
without which I can never hope to be complete...
She heard footsteps. She quickly hid the letter in her

"h.. hi , did you find a let... no, no.. a glass?"
bhOndOO stood near the corner with one-glass-spectacles.
"Oh, yes, here it is, d.. d.. dear!" Shami gave him the
glass and tightened grip on her notebook. bhOndOO
pondered on the word 'dear' but soon discarded the usage
as one of the many phrases that girls have habit of saying.

It was not. Not at least in Shami's case.

bhOndOO never found the letter.
Someone else had found it.
As benJi had said, if you have it in your destiny,
she will know that you have written it.


Mukta said...

poetry ah poetry :D :D

vinay said...

Damn it! Onkar!! You are giving me goosebumps...This is downright killing romantic! lovely! Ah, how I wish I were bhOndOO! :D :P

Suneel Madhekar said...

Ah ah ah!! This is a gem of fiction! I'm not sure of bhOndOO, but only onKar can write the ultra-romantic verse about Einstein, Ramanujan, Boltzmann and Godel!! Hats off, man! Lovely series!! The world needs more...

Mansi said...


Mansi said...

i almost feel like i'm reading another version of phdcomics :D

Anu said...

Very gripping story!! Amazing yar, where had you hidden this talent of writing fiction, that too romantic!! One more to your fanbase :)

aryan said...



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