Just friends

"Mom, I am going to meet Ninad. Cya.."
"Wait a minute. When his majesty wants to be back home?"
"8 o'clock. As usual I'll be late by an hour ! And if you start talking now,
it will be one and half hours.. Hehe.."

Ninad and I grabbed places at a table at Coffee Corner, our usual place for
philosophical discussions. These philosophical discussions are very useful
in the sense that they are ideal for passing all the extra time you have got
by postponing all the assignments to the last day before deadline. On top of
that, though these discussions are completely useless in a certain way, you
don't exactly feel like you have wasted your time.

"Two coffee please. And there is no hurry. Take your own time!"
"Ninad, isn't Sameer coming here?"
"No, as usual some stupid reason. He knows that I know thats a lie. Still
we observe that gentleman-like courtesy of not calling a spade a spade."
"So what has our Mr. Philosopher got to tell me?"
"Today in college, the last lecture was Economics. That professor has the knack
of making it sound the most boring lecture in the world. So I decided to bunk
it and and went to bus-stop. There I saw Priya standing in the queue. And then.."
"Oh is that the lady love in your life? Isn't she a junior of yours?
Cool Ninad ! Sameer told me all about that !! Is she too a Ms. Philosopher?"
"Onkar, I simply hate this habit of yours of interrupting almost every sentence
that I speak !"
"What a coincidence ! I too hate this habit of mine ! Great minds think alike !..
Ok ok, sorry boss. Proceed, Mr. Socrates."
"So Priya and I got into the bus. Thankfully there were empty seats. And after maybe
ten minutes of time she realised that she had forgotten to buy a book for F.A.- Financial
Accounting- of which tomorrow she has to submit an assignment."

"OK Priya, no big deal. No need to go back. You can simply drop in to my home at
about 5 o'clock and collect the book as well as the notes if you want."
"Yeah thats good. Thank god I met you here or else I would have had to go back all
the way in this scorching heat. Yeah, I'll surely drop in by 5 o'clock."
"And yes, I forgot to ask you one thing. You remember, last week you were not
picking your cell so I had to call on your landline number?"
"Yeah, by mistake I had kept the phone on silent mode even after I returned from
college. Why? What happened?"
"The weird thing was that before passing on the call to you, your dad conducted a police
enquiry of me. Whats my full name? What do I do? Where do I stay? Whats my dad's
occupation... Didn't he tell you about that?"
"Nooo and after hanging up your call, you know what, he asked me all these things
he had asked you ! Oh my gawd, my dad is reaaaally orthodox to the core. But I clarified
everything at the end by saying that I see you like my brother.."
"What? Come on! you are not my sister. We are just friends. And thats all. Nothing
more than that, nothing less than that."
"Whats the big deal? Come on, if you are not boyfriend to a girl, you are just like
a brother to her.. Isn't it?"

"Onkar, don't give me that mischievous smile. Let me finish what I want to say and
that too without you making faces. Or else tomorrow's newspaper will have a front
page news - Tortured youth strangles his friend with bare hands ! Ok, what was I telling?
Oh yes.. then after this she got a phone call and we left this topic there itself.
When I got down at the bus-stop, Sameer was buying some stuff in the general stores
in front of the bus stop..."

"Oh Ninad, so sorry. Because you saw me, you didn't get down with her. Extremely
sorry man, I made you miss some of the precious moments of your life. Hey Bhagwan,
agar aapko mujhpe aur meri sachchaai pe jarasaa bhi yakeen hai.."
"Dammmiitt, stop yaar. Come on there is nothing like that. She gets down at the next
stop..."
"But she could have got down here too. Pyar parbat bhi hilaa sakta hai! Aur agar tere
pyaar me jaraasi bhi taakat hai toh..."
"Goddamn you, Sameer. Stop those filmi dialogues. And I told you, she is not my
girlfriend ! We are..."
"Oh, so is she your sister then? Did she tie a Rakhi to you this Rakshabandhan? Tell
me, what has..."
"Look here Sameer, she is neither my girlfriend, nor is my sister. We are just friends."
"Oh don't give me this crap. This is a very standard excuse every lover-boy gives. So
tell me what are the plans for coming Valentine? I tell you, the best thing you can gift
is..."

"And Onkar thats how it went with Sameer. And he must have added extra spice to this
story before narrating it to you. Tell me Onkar, she said she should be like a sister
to me. But I can't call her a sister.You know, what my didi means to me. Its altogether
different. Until some lady means to me like what what my didi is, I can't call her a sister.
Its not a trifle thing for me to call a lady my sister. One has to live up to those words.
But does that mean she is my girlfriend, like Sameer says? She is a good girl, but definitely she can't be my girlfriend. She is not someone whom I may like. Can't we be just friends?"

"If you have convinced yourself Ninad, then why not?"

"OK, convincing myself is one thing. But if Sameer, our close friend says something like
that, what may society talk like? I was just thinking Onkar... I tried to analyse... The
mindset of society takes generations to develop. You know, I couldn't remember a single
legend or story in mythology in which a young guy and a young girl are just friends. When
it comes to friends, its either only girls or only guys. The only way a guy and a girl of same age are related is through love which is either marital or non-marital. OK, the mythology is old stuff. The mindset of the society does change. But have a look around, do you recollect any example in modern literature, which we studied in our schools or junior collges, showing friendship between a guy and a girl even somewhere near to the guys-only or girls-only friendship? Are there even a handful number of movies showing this? After thinking all this, I am really confused.
You tell me Onkar,
Is it that a relation between a young guy and a young girl should always be declared to the society as either brother-sister relation or a relation of love? Can't they just be friends, nothing more than thator nothing less than that?
Do you have an answer?"

Do you have an answer?

He does not understand

He went inside a home in a locality looking like a slum, along with about ten of his friends. It was home of one of his friends. They occupied the chairs and sofa in the hall. After some introductory chat, his friend's mother went to the kitchen. When she came out, she and her daughter were carrying trays containing plates of sweets and glasses of juice, one each for all the people present. He was sitting at the end. When it came to him, there were more than four glasses and plates. His friend's mother asked him, "Is it ok for you to eat here among us?"
He picked a plate of sweets and a glass of juice. But he did not understand the question.

He was returning from the school along with one of his classmates. He was being teased by him right from their exit from the school. They were walking for about fifteen minutes. Being a shy boy, it was becoming difficult for him to bear the onslaught of teasing taunts which referred to a girl. Finally he screamed at his friend. His friend exclaimed, "No wonder you are a cry-baby. After all you are son of a Brahmin family".
He became more angry and spoke in a wild manner. But he had not understood the remark.

It was one of those chaotic recesses in his junior college. They all gathered together and opened their tiffins. Being a group, they used to eat their tiffins together. He opened his tiffin. It was one of his favorite dishes. Two plain Omelettes and bread. Looking at his tiffin, one of his friends blurted out, "Hey you eat eggs ! You are not a pure Brahmin. I do not eat any such stuff. I am a pure Brahmin, unlike you."
He was not a kid not to understand the remark. But he did not understand what was meant by purity in this case.

He was attending a social function. It was buffet time. There was a long queue. He got bored. The queue was looking like a never ending one as more and more people were accommodating themselves in the queue if they found someone they knew. Irritated, he remarked about it to the person standing in front of him. The ball of conversation started rolling about. It was turning out to be a pleasant exchange. The person asked him his name. He told his name. The person asked him his full name. He told his full name. The person remarked, "Oh, so you are one of us!"
He just waited for his turn for food.

He was meeting a senior from his undergrad college. Academically she was two years senior but agewise the distance was about three years . They were good friends. In the flow of conversation she happened to mention that her parents were looking out for a groom for her. He said it was a great news and it must be funny going through all that process. She said that wasn't funny in any sense as the groom was not only required to be Brahmin but also from belonging to different gotra than hers, not to mention her other demands. She explained that people from a specific gotra are said to be descendants of the same rishi and in that case they all would be siblings. Fully aware of the concept, he tried to argue that if there are only a handful of gotras and if both the parents did belong to different gotra in all the marriages, then all the people of their caste would be siblings of each other as a child would inherit genes of the father as well as the mother. She said the gotra of a child is inherited from his father. She also added that he did not understand the concept at all or else he would not speak of it in such a manner.
He felt her remarks were true. He had not understood the concept at all.


Take care,
Onkar